death, infinity, and strategical sociopathic behaviours
Every time we grow a little bit conscious about the realistic notion of our death, we become a little bit more serious, amidst playfulness, towards what songs should be played in our funeral and what the remaining future of our time in existence ought to look and feel like. In the face of death goals surface themselves like shipwrecks on desert. These goals are where meaning can be derived from. In many ways these goals promise us infinities. But infinities tend to desert goals. After all, goals are not in good terms with romanticism and our love for heuristic wandering and the wonderful practice of not doing. Everything unrelated to the execution towards these goals can feel like a waste of time. But what is existential time without infinity? That is the question that has troubled Jobs, Zuckerburg, Thiel and Elon.
Infinity is a mistress. She toys with our feelings while rendering us amnesiac and apathetic towards the future. She is the manifestation of the present in its purest form. She is what orgasm feels like without its subsequent death. She is what the commitment to suicide encapsulates without the impurities. To truly be a master of yourself is to master infinity the way one masters a slave.
Society is constantly at war with itself. After all, society exists to operate systems the same way our social tendencies are merely genetic expressions under computation. From a goal-orientated point of view many forms of socialisation can be viewed as a pure waste of time. Nonetheless, socialisation is in general nice in terms of the joy it sparks, etc, and the human relations formed in the long run, depending on how long it got to run though. Not all joys are useful towards fulfilling our goals the same way not all human relations worth our time. Most humans are extremely unintelligent after all (especially to you, my dear friend, who somewhat appreciates my writings). And even when some are intelligent (or artistically inclined in the sense wherefrom intelligence can be derived) in one aspect or another, such intelligence and artsiness are rarely expressed in social functions containing more than n persons for a sufficiently large n. Overall, meeting strangers is fun. But further social intercourses with the same strangers (who gradually lose, for the lack of a better word, strangeness) risks dilution into uneventfulness, unless in rare cases where friendship or some form of a relation is developed. But behind every beautiful friendship there is a cost of maintenance in terms of time, energy, etc, which in terms come with their own opportunity costs. Of course, maintaining friendship is always a pleasurable thing. It is always fascinating to see friendship ages over the years like fine wine. But we only have so much time and energy during our existence and then we are dead.
In order to truly master infinities in a society’s setting, the art of strategical sociopathic behaviours (i.e. the behavioural deviation from social norms and antisocial patterns in general, under a somewhat game theoretical framework) needs to be learned and employed. We ought to appreciate sociopathic behaviours for they demonstrate a somewhat absolute control of self and the wonderful acknowledgement regarding the transient nature of time. After all, death awaits us all and we ought to learn when to leave some infinities behind for other infinities, or momentarily abandon infinities for the sweet promises derived from goals that reflect the future we look forwards to. Time is limited. Strategical sociopathic behaviours work wonders in constrained optimisation problems.
And we ought to take caution towards our empathetic inclination. Empathy is a double-edged sword. The trick here is not to point it to yourself nor to the world but to appreciate the elegance of its craft the same way you appreciate solitude and treat it as the most luxurious gift you can ever give to yourself. The idea here is to always enjoy yourself in spending time with virtually anyone and as you do so you make sure the time with you is enjoyable to them too. In many ways it means becoming an expert in emotional attunenment (through the fine utilization of our empathetic faculty) and an expert in enjoying yourself (by finding amusement in literally everything). Meanwhile, deep down your heart you have fully surrendered yourself to the acknowledgement that after each meeting with strangers and friends you may never get to see them again. You are the captain of your own ship and you are free to leave for another world and never come back. The only thing that binds you to them is the future, the future of promised infinities. And when they disengage from your future infinities or your future infinities desert them as future unfolds itself and promises metamorphose or dissipate, you are free to dissipate from their world too. Even if it may make them sad. Even if it may make you sad. Sadness is beautiful. Embrace your death in their world, and their deaths in yours. And do so with the same majesty as you are going to die. Because you are.
Still, invite them to your funeral if they are nice people.